How To Have Difficult Conversations When You Hate Conflict

This issue is one of the hardest things I have to deal with in working with leaders who are wired to avoid conflict.  My only effective coaching strategy is to show them through their own experience that the longer they wait the higher the price.  So if you hate all the drama, deal with it early and the outcome will be well worth the risk.  Excellent post by Joel Garfinkle:

“Avoiding or delaying a difficult conversation can hurt your relationships and create other negative outcomes. It may not feel natural at first, especially if you dread discord, but you can learn to dive into these tough talks by reframing your thoughts.

Begin from a place of curiosity and respect, and stop worrying about being liked. Conflict avoiders are often worried about their likability. While it’s natural to want to be liked, that’s not always the most important thing. Lean into the conversation with an open attitude and a genuine desire to learn. Start from a place of curiosity and respect — for both yourself and the other person. Genuine respect and vulnerability typically produce more of the same: mutual respect and shared vulnerability.”

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