When Christians expect their spouse to provide something for them that only God can, then the marriage is headed for failure. There is no husband or wife that can give you unconditional love. They cannot give your life the significance or value that a relationship with Jesus Christ offers.
Most of the time when these unrealistic expectations are not met we simply put someone or something else in their place. Placing our children at the top of the list can provide far more love than an angry spouse. We get far more validation at work because we are better leaders there than we are at home.
The Father uses marriage to reveal things to us about ourselves that we could not learn or see any other way. We may recognize this and even reach a point of spiritual maturity where we apologize when we fail.
However, the biggest miss of all is that the most important things He wants to show us are not about our relationship failures in our marriage but about our relationship failures with Him. How many times have we apologized for our anger or hurt feelings to our mate and never once ask for forgiveness from the Father for those same sins.
Your marriage is nothing more and certainly nothing less than a reflection of your relationship with the Father. When you are asking for a lot of forgiveness and grace from Him, then it will be easy to pass it on to others. If you are not, then you are trying to live a supernatural life in the power of your flesh.