As Christians we must learn to break the cycle that has been robbing us of the abundant life since the garden of Eden. That cycle is based on your worldview of why you are the way you are today. You are primarily either the product of your circumstances or your choices.
There is no doubt that painful circumstances in our past produce permanent emotional scars that can last for a lifetime. However, through the power of the gospel we can both receive and give forgiveness. We can also receive peace from Christ that will give us all the grace we need for today because through Him we can do all things.
When we are not spiritually mature, we are daily feeling the convicting work of the Holy Spirit. If we are seeking to grow in Christ that is a very good thing that leads to repentance. If we are unwilling to change, then we must do something emotionally with all that guilt.
What happened in the garden is still happening today. Instead of owning our bad decisions, we simply find someone or something to be the source of our blame. We balance our own guilt with the blame we cast toward others and therefore justify our bad decisions.
As we live out our marriages in the church scattered, this vicious cycle has destroyed many families because it so easy to see the sin in others. We must shift the comparison of ourselves to others and strive to be fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ.
As a word or warning when you make this change in your own life, your marriage could get worse for awhile. When you stop trying to be the Holy Spirit in your spouse’s life then they don’t have you to blame anymore. They are left only with their guilt and their relationship with the Father.
They will do everything they can to push all your buttons, hoping you will respond in anger and once again balance out their guilt feelings. Fully trust the Father to give you what you need and to deal with them in ways that will help break this painful cycle in your family.
His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness !!!